Game of speed

Do not worry for gods, legends and immortals,
For you do things they never possibly could.
It’s nothing, fighting wars and ruling nations
When you have a thousand tries of each.
Finding peace and enlightenment is easier
When you have a whole century to err,
A decade to mourn, years to wander, lost,
And time on top to despair, to wail, and slowly
To relearn how to drag yourself to your feet.
We, humans, are not that. We have minutes
For things our heroes spend lifetimes on,
Before we have to plow ahead and do our miracles.
It’s not a game of greatness for us, never been,
It’s a game of speed. The worthy among us
Are the ones who dust themselves off quickest
After their falls, and whose luck holds firmest
To keep them stumbling but still on two feet.
We fear the failures, but they don’t matter
In the short, short spans that we all have,
It just matters keeping hold of your tickets
On this mad ride on the life’s carousel.

With a sharp mind

You could open that door with a key.

You could avoid a confrontation if you flee.

You could make her fall for you with a rose.

You could see opportunities by being on your toes.

You could escape that situation with a bluff.

You could ace the test if you study enough.

You could earn your spot with plenty hard work.

You could be liked if you stop being a jerk.

You could win anything you want with luck.

You could buy your way in if you pay a nice buck.

… or you could do it all with a sharp mind –

An indispesable thing, a Swiss knife of a kind.

You may not even need anything else but it,

But it will always serve you, even with kit.

You don’t look like much, and you don’t have things,

But with a sharp mind, you’ve got more than kings.

Glass Walls

I might have driven my mind crazy.
A lifetime of insecurities
Is screaming in my ear to panic,
It’s screaming that I’m lost, alone,
That I am not good enough.
And for the first time in my life,
It’s probably right, I’m probably not;
And for the first time in my life,
I’m tuning it out and minding my way,
because this is non-negociable.
This is what I want my life to be,
And I’ll be damned if I cower.
But I’ve skipped a couple hundred steps –
I’m someone who learns to persevere
In the very first situation
In which things don’t magically appear.
I’ve never had to work at all,
And now I have to work hard.
And my mind is desperately telling me
That I can’t, that I won’t,
And I see her lips moving
Through the glass walls
Of the prison I put it behind.
It’s a strange disconnection,
But it’s relieving, buoying…
It’s just a shame the feeling escapes me,
Since the thing that was supposed
To relay it to me in the first place
Is stuck behind glass walls
And otherwise preoccupied.

 

(image: Simon Heijdens exhibit)

Celebrate it!

Keeping it short and sweet today.

Find a person to tell
Something good that happened to you today.
If you don’t have a person,
Shout your accomplishments until the air
Vibrates with their charge.
Nothing is too small or insignificant,
As long as it matters to you.
Be it winning a competition or only getting up,
Celebrate your victories.
Toast your success with your teddy bear,
Thank the universe,
And then close your eyes and thank yourself.
You’ll see that soon
You will have cause for non-stop celebration.

Thank you to all those who have been there for me, and that I got to share bits and pieces of me with. Saying the good things out loud gives them more power than you’d expect. You guys being in my life is the biggest accomplishment I have!

Anybody feel like sharing one of theirs? 🙂

It is fine

When rain pours down dirty windows,
A constant patter of tears,
Snuggle into warm blankets
And repeat after me:
It will be fine.
When the winter snows flurry,
A God-made barrage of cold,
Put more wood on the fire
And repeat after me:
It will be fine.
When the darkness reigns blind,
Reaching long fingers in your soul,
Get up and turn on the light
And repeat after me:
It will be fine.

Repeat it until you believe,
Until you let yourself be strong enough
To actually understand the words.
Because it is fine.
You’re the only one who decides
What is fine and how to make it.
When rain pours, get up and dance in it.
When snow falls, go build a snowman from it.
When darkness abounds, lie down and see the stars.

Our inner compasses break all the time
And we can worry ourselves silly
Thinking how will we survive
When we can’t find our way back.
But it is fine.
Ditch the compass, put on your sturdy boots
And go on the straight unbeaten path,
Letting not a single fear hold you back.
Because, darling, it is only not fine
If you see the past, the problems,
The things that didn’t work out.
But it is fine,
It will always be fine,
If only we go forward instead.

The key (challenge)

Found a rusted fist-sized key,
Growing from a secret garden.
What its use could possibly be,
A challenge and a pardon.

A hammer makes your troubles
All look like they are nails,
So check if your key doubles
Into locked doors your tales.

It’s up to you what way it goes,
If you’ll let it get you down
To see so many options close
With just one key to go around.

Or you could focus on the key
And learn to see solutions
So tell me, what you’d have it be,
Advance or disillusions?

A/N: this poem is in response to Sara’s challenge (click for original post). I might have cheated a little bit, since my key leads to a way of thinking rather than a place, but hope you still enjoy it!

Later

Every day, we schedule opportunities.
Not in the sense that we plan for them,
But that they knock on our door and we answer,
Tell them to have a seat, open our notebooks,
And schedule them to come back later –
A day, a week, an year from now.
We want to do great things, beautiful things,
But we need to be more knowledgeable first,
We need some time to gather our courage,
We need to find that perfect moment.
So we plan all those wonderful things for later.
We forget that we only have ‘later’ on lease,
And the terms are vague, the owner old and fickle,
His scythe too often cutting it shorter,
Making it more expensive than expected.
I don’t want to spend a lifetime
Worrying about how long I’ll afford the rent,
Wasting my time begging for a little more of it.
Maybe I’ll try a new idea for once,
And use it as I get it instead,
Throw out the notebook and open the door.
I think I’ll start, and gather the knowledge
By screwing things up and fixing them as I go,
I think I’ll run, and hope that courage
Will gather itself and run to catch up with me,
I think I’ll do, and accept that perfect
Is sometimes more about quantity than quality,
More about the fact that I did something,
Rather than if I did it exactly like planned.
I’m poor, and renting out that ‘later’ isn’t cheap.
So I’ll spend all I have on buying some happiness,
And learn, instead of ‘later’, how to use my ‘now’.