Good for you

The warmth grows with the flush,
Spreading down to your core
And it should be uncomfortable
But it’s a bit like getting a hug,
You forget for a moment
That you need your blanket
And to burrow in its dark security.
The liquid should sting maybe,
But you actually revel in the water,
Its steady flow calming
And the cold air on your wet face
Is a soothing kind of meditation.
And you moan and gasp for breath
But there’s words beneath there,
And it’s the first time in forever
That you actually let them out,
And their release more than makes up
For the pain of their escape.
We are conditioned to avoid pain,
But it’s tiring to keep pushing down,
The pressure steadily increasing.
Every once in a while,
It might be good to let yourself fall
To the depths of your personal abyss,
Get reacquainted with what lives there,
And after you understand them,
Make order from within.

Sometimes, crying is good for you.

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Because it’s special

That little red cup, chipped on the side,

The moth-eaten teddy bear falling apart,

That game to which you long lost the guide,

The drawings that are more scribble than art.

 

People surround themselves with useless things,

Forgotten trash that belongs firmly in the past

Because it’s special to them, healing slings

Symbols of things that went by too fast.

 

One man’s trash, another man’s treasure,

It’s a bit of a cliche by now perhaps

But you can’t measure memories and pleasure

What’s special to you shouldn’t be turned into scraps.

The deepest peace

Breathe in and close your eyes.

Listen to the silence and breathe out.

Breathe in, counting the heartbeats,

Feeling the way life pumps rhythmically,

And vibrate with it. Breathe out.

Breathe in. Open up your thoughts.

It’s time to understand who you are,

And who you are also comprises

What peace may mean to you.

It’s not always the same thing to all.

For some it’s unconditional acceptance,

So let your past flow through you, see it,

But don’t try to catch any of it –

Just let it fall where it may,

And love the unique patterns that it made.

For some it’s knowledge, understanding,

So grab your finest sieve and go,

Pull away and apart and together

Everything you can get your hands on,

And try to discover your inner laws,

Your force and gravity and center.

Now open your eyes and look around,

And do the very same thing with the world,

Find your place in any way you like,

Just remember that it’s about the process

Not about the end result.

Peace is the journey in spite

Of the destination. It’s the one thing

That makes a difference to you – you.

Breathe out.

I need a friend

There are days when I really need a friend.
I need a friend who would show up at my door
With a pint of creamy icecream
And a tray of cookies just to be sure
Because he heard the inflection in my voice
And knows not to believe a word I say.
Who wouldn’t mind choosing the movie
And letting me rest my head in his lap,
Who would make me laugh myself silly
And choke on the cookies and tea.
Who I could kiss at that particular scene
And in whose eyes I wouldn’t fear looking
As we marvel at how meaningless it is,
And how the meaninglessness can mean
Quite so much for healing my heart.
I need a friend who would chuckle
When I start crying at that stupid ending
But would have no hesitation to hold me
When the tears start becoming the real thing
And I get to finally feel some relief
As I soak it all in his shirt and warm arms.
I need a friend who would force me up
Put me on wheels and push me down the street,
Raise my heart rate so artificially
Until I remember how to form excitement
That doesn’t depend on people staring,
Looking at both of us like we are crazy.
But in the meanwhile, being crazy in two
Is the best kind of crazy someone can be.
Could you please be my friend?

Healing time

It’s said that time heals all wounds,
But it’s not time that does the healing, is it?
Time is just a necessary catalyst.
It’s like saying that fire boils water.
Fire is definitely needed in the process,
But I’m yet to see a fire start, look around,
See a pot of a water and spring to boil it.
Time is just an instrument we yield,
And healing comes from our skill in yielding it.
Time wouldn’t mend bones that you keep breaking,
Wouldn’t fix you if you don’t set them first,
So why would our souls be any different?
I think I didn’t quite understand the saying,
I think people misunderstand it every day,
Because it’s not about how much time passes,
It’s about whether you use it to make things right
Or if you keep making those mistakes,
And if your mistakes are meant to cross out
All the wrong choices until you find the right one
Or if you just become proficient at making mistakes.
Time is just the instrument.
We’re the ones who heal ourselves.