I just wanted to tell you

I just wanted to tell you

That I could only whisper to you

How impossible it would be to say to you

All the things that I feel like shouting.

I’m alternating between a maddening need

To bare my soul in front of your eyes

And let you caress and soothe my past,

And an overwhelming desire to hide it,

To pretend the ugly scars out of existence

So you may never have the opportunity

To think any less of me for them.

I just wanted to tell you

That I don’t really trust myself to speak

And I need your silence to be understanding,

But I want you to coax the words out of me

Because they’re cutting my tongue to pieces

In their restlessness to reach you.

I just wanted to tell you

That I love you, and let the deluge

Of the past and present and future

Choose to throw themselves off my lips

When I read the same answer in your eyes.

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