How, When, Why

I had time to think, and came up with some questions.
I realized I want to know HOW.
How did your smile become so special to me?
How did my smile come to rely on your presence?
How did you turn from passing amusement to the locus of my tranquility?
I realized I want to know WHEN.
When did it all happen?
Was it when you made my brain go into overdrive looking for your answers?
Was it when you first made me laugh so hard I was crying?
Was it when you just looked and saw me for who I am?
I realized I want to know WHY.
Why did you have to be so much of what I needed?
Why do you want to make this so little of what I want?
Why… why you?

There are other questions, of course.
But I know better than to asks questions
That I don’t want to hear the answers to.
I don’t want to know WHO.
Whether it’s who you really are, or a person I’m making up.
I don’t want to know WHAT.
Whether it’s love, passion, fantasy, or none of the above.
I don’t want to know HOW FAST.
Whether it was so gradual it snuck up on me
Or so fast it exploded and erased the ‘before’ from existence.
And most importantly,
I don’t want to know HOW MUCH.
How deep, how mad, how all-encompassing this has become.
Whether I’m still holding onto some rational thought
Or if my heart has already run away, cuddling at your feet,
Begging to be broken for just one touch, one taste.

I don’t want the answers to those questions.
I don’t want to know how wrong I am in what I think reality is.
So I’ll just stick with HOW,
I’ll just stick with WHEN,
And I’ll just stick with WHY.

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